Tuesday, August 10, 2010
That is, until this last weekend.
Samuelson’s seemingly fantastical tales of a deep –and previously unverified– love forged at Muskrat Rivers Computer Camp in central Wisconsin over the summer, were recently confirmed when a young lady matching the description he provided was found this last Sunday alive and surprisingly well in Thunder Bay, Ontario.
Prior to this amazing discovery, friends experienced a whirlwind of intrigue, speculation, and vicariously-induced arousal for the last few weeks as Samuelson spun incredible tales about ”this hot chick from . .. uh. . .Canada” who let him get to second base. Samuelson’s only evidence of her existence was a picture cut out of Teen Vogue and it came as no surprise that his paltry evidence had been met with much incredulity.
“That’s BS, man,” said Taylor’s older brother Keith, making it clear to all who would listen that a magazine photos offers scant proof that “any girl would get near this total tool.”
“”Hey look everybody,” the older Samuelson joked while holding up a lingerie catalogue. “I”m dating Gisele Bündchen!”
But Samuelson’s siblings, and friends, and most of the town of Waukegan would soon eat their words.
Fortunately for the lovestruck Samuelson and to the astonishment of everyone, 16-year old Sarah Fox, who is described as “sorta tall, um, a great body, and uh. . .nice skin”, was finally found at the studio where she apparently models. Even when asked a second and third time if she serious, the 2010 Miss Teen Ontario runner-up was willing to fully corroborate his story.
Samuelson’s close friend, Chase Graham, was impressed to hear that his buddy had actually made out with some hot foreign chick he met at camp in the Wisconsin Dells area. “Of all places,” Graham added.
“She’s like totally into him, or so he told us,” said Graham, who admitted he was happy for his friend, adding that “[Taylor] typically kept his distance from the girls in our school because they think he’s a complete dork.”
Suspicions grew, however, when fellow students asked if they could meet this mystery woman. Apparently Samuelson struggled with the line of questioning, only replying that “it probably wouldn’t happen because she doesn’t live around here.”
“I gave Taylor the benefit of the doubt on the whole Canada thing,” Graham said, “because everyone knows that those Canuck chicks are so killer, right?”
Fox, who shares an interest in X-Men graphic novels, first person shooter computer games, and amateur astronomy was happy to talk about their relationship and expressed her own frustration with the disbelief from her own circle of friends.
Fox complained that none of her girlfriends believed she had met a kind, intelligent, and funny boy in the United States. “They thought I was making the whole thing up.”
Their cynicism was not unfounded, of course, owing to the common wild-eyed fabrication amongst attractive teenage Canadian girls claiming to have serious boyfriends who are really smart and really sweet and live just outside of Chicago.
Hot Canadian girl confirms relationship with local teen