Muse demands return of inspiration taken by local psychopath

On Monday, a Cook County judge heard arguments from Schaumburg resident Michelle Brennan who is refusing to take responsibility for the disturbed writings, unnerving lyrics, and bizarre artwork of a local nutjob and is asking that the creative spark that was taken from her by this creepy basket-case be returned as soon as possible.

Brennan, a local actress and model, unwittingly provided encouragement and inspiration to area kook Thomas Franklin through her appearance in a Humane Society ad in the Chicago Sun Times last fall. The ad asked the reader, and was directed personally at him according to Franklin, to “Make a Difference!”

Franklin vowed to follow Brennan’s call to action and felt emboldened to write over 30 songs focused on her and the inspiring example she sets for animal advocacy. Brennan immediately filed suit, fearing that being in some way tied to Franklin’s insane creations might impugn her character, destroy her public persona, and ruin a promising career.

Brennan denied claims that she looked straight into the eyes of Franklin from the half page ad in the Entertainment section and said she had no personal message for him. Franklin countered in his testimony that he and his beautiful muse are connected on a spiritual level and thus the spark she provides is irrevocable.

“We are intimately involved,” Franklin told the court, “. . . like through our brainwaves, man!”

Brennan also denied she whispers words of encouragement in Franklin’s ears while he sleeps and rejected his account that she is mouthing “I am fated to be yours” in each subsequent weekend ad run.

“I was flattered for the first delivery of what would become a total of 18 dozen roses, but then I felt like it was getting out of control,” admitted Brennen, who has since moved back in with her parents John and Eva Brennan of Evanston out of concern for her privacy and safety.

“She puts thoughts in my head and drives me to create!” Franklin interupted more than once.

He also argued that her inspiration is a part of the public domain and is available to anyone. “. . .and for any reason,” he added while giving a knowing nod and a wink to the circuit court bailiff, which drew cringes and looks of disgust from Brennan and the other women in the courtroom.

Franklin was unconvinced by argument, saying that she is merely playing coy and prefers a low profile, allowing him to claim the spotlight.

“She’s just hiding how proud she is for breathing life into the play I wrote entitled The Passion of the Michelle.”

Barring any court injunction, Franklin’s play is due to begin its performance next month in the service alley behind the Harris Theatre on East Randolph Street. It is described on hand-scrawled paper napkins handed to passersby to be about salvation, redemption, and will include a 30-minute crucifixion scene.

Brennan is also asking for the removal of Franklin’s most recently crafted masterpiece currently displayed just behind the treeline in Millennium Park. The piece of “art” was unveiled this weekend to an audience of uninterested park-goers and park security who gave him a citation for not having a permit. Witnesses reported that Franklin revealed an 18 ft chicken wire and Play-Doh sculpture of Michelle Brennan holding both a Cocker Spaniel and a miniature version of himself in her lap; all encircled by a ring of a 3ft tall dancing anthropomorphized dog bone chewie toys.

“If that’s not malicious libel, I don’t know what is,” Brennan’s lawyer said. “I beg the court to end the defamation of this young lady’s reputation.”

Franklin ended his version of events with an appeal to the court’s sense of appreciation for artistic inspiration.

“She has given me the freedom and motivation to accomplish anything I want,” he said.

Anything, that is, except stand within a 500 foot proximity of Ms Brennan according to the restraining order then issued by the court.

http://www.thechicagodope.com/2010/08/27/muse-demands-return-of-inspiration-taken-by-local-psychopath/

Deal Struck Between Airline Passengers Leads to Sharing Drop-Down Tray Table

Delta Airline passengers Cynthia Grey of seat 7D and Ed Towson of seat 7F each laid joint tenancy claims to the drop-down tray table that belonged to the empty center seat that had remained unoccupied between them upon take-off from Chicago's O'Hare Airport.


The non-verbal, unwritten agreement was established hastily and without negotiation, just seconds prior to the delivery of Grey's orange juice and honey roasted peanuts and Towson's Pepsi and pair of Jim Beam mini bottles.

Each contract participant's refreshment was to be provided on their own allocated 16.625 by 9.625 inch square horizontal surface but the flight attendant's planned service for the two passengers was impeded by her laptop and his Super Sudoku book.

Towson's quick action to unclasp and lower the unused center seat's tray table drew implicit approval from Grey as she immediately secured half of the much needed surface space.  Her requisition of the left side of the tray table was met without objection from Towson.

The two-hour agreement was not without some contentious moments however.  Just minutes after the seat-belt sign turned off, Grey got up and went to the restroom.  It was at that moment that Towson attempted to obtain 10% more space upon her departure.  His assumption was that by her vacating the area, it was an act of acquiescence by Grey of any property claims.

An immediate challenge was levied by Grey upon her return and a new agreement was reached after fifteen minutes of non-verbal negotiations.  Tactical napkin placement and subtle maneuvering of their Biscoff cookies once again resulted in a relatively equal, although rather asymmetric, sharing of the tray.

When the plane's final descent into Denver was announced, the joint-use arrangement was dissolved just as effortlessly as it was created.  Without so much as a spoken word, Grey and Towson each fulfilled their final obligation to the initial agreement, applying an equal and simultaneous force to the bottom of the tray and returning it to its upright and locked position.